Dear Abigail...

April 16, 2013

Dear Abigail
     Hi baby girl! I can’t believe your mom is almost eight months pregnant with you already! It seems like just yesterday we were looking at three positive pregnancy tests, laughing and crying all at once. That day changed everything for us! Even though we waited for you for two long years – we still had a hard time believing it at first!

     And now you’re almost here. I’m sure you know by now how much I love your mom – you hear it all the time! And I’m sure that you also know that we argue sometimes – but that’s nothing to worry about. As much as you’re moving around right now, and as strong-willed as you already seem to be, I’m sure we’ll have our own arguments too! But I hope you’re already finding out that no one in this family goes to sleep angry!

     Sadly, I have no idea what kind of world you’re going to grow up in. Horrible things are happening all around us even now. Where this world is going to go from here, I don’t even want to know! You’ll go through some hard times. You’ll experience some things that my generation never experienced. You’ll know other kids whose families are being torn apart – or were never there in the first place. You may even experience some very dangerous situations. But I promise you this; the same God that watched over your grandpa and grandma, the same God that protected and guided your mom and dad will watch over you! We’ll teach you how to hear His voice – and if you’ll pay attention, He’ll always place you at the right place at the right time! God will bring you out of every problem on top!

     God is always faithful – and we are going to show you this from the moment you’re born. I told you before that you’ll probably have friends with destroyed or nonexistent families. But I also promise you this, you will never have to go through that! You can rest assured that you will always have your mom and your dad. I’m going to do everything I can to be an example of God’s faithfulness. I’m going to love your mom the way Jesus loves us. I promise you this – you will never have a stepmom or a stepdad…I love your mom too much for that! Besides, there’s no way I’m ever going to let some other person raise my beautiful little girl!

     You’re not going to be normal, Abigail. Why? Because normal isn’t good enough for you! It isn’t normal anymore for girls your age to live with their mom and dad. The normal right now is to have a mom and a sperm donor. (I’m trusting that it will be decades before you even know what that term means!) It isn’t normal for kids to have parents involved in their life. And it certainly isn’t normal for them to have a mom and dad who are committed to raising them up spiritually. But that’s what we’re going to do!

     Even as a girl, you’ll know the Bible better than most Christians – because we’ll be reading it every night. Before you hit your teenage years, you’ll know how to talk to God…and how to hear Him speak to you! You are going to do amazing things for the Kingdom of God, Abigail. I can’t wait to see His calling on your life start to show up!

     It’s important for you to know that I’ll do everything I can to guard that calling on your life…even if it means chasing away some of people who want to be your “friends”. If you’ll trust us, your mom and I will show you what kind of people are worth having around – and what kind of people aren’t worth the time of day! And…many, many years down the road…I know you’ll meet the righteous young man who will take you by the hand and lead you into the next level of God’s call on your life! From that day on, the two of you will walk with God together. Now, I don’t even want to think about that day! But I hope you’ll trust our input on that decision too. If you’ll pay attention to the way I treat your mom, you’ll see how your own husband (…in the very distant future…) should treat you.

     Above all, know this…I love you Abby! I’m going to do my best to teach you, to guide you, and to protect and provide for you. And when the times come that I don’t know how to help you, please let me take your hand and lead you to the One that has all the answers! After all, He loves you even more than I do!

Looking forward to seeing you for the first time,
Your Loving Dad

Obedience and Honor

Exodus 20:12  “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’”

God is a parent/child kind of person. He is in complete support of the relationship between a child and their mother and father. After all, God is a Father and a Son! Remember? God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit - three-in-one? If He is Father and Son, and we are made in His image, what should that say about our own relationships with our parents?

The first thing you should realize is that the fifth commandment doesn’t even mention obedience. It says to honor your father and mother. God is most interested in your attitude towards them. Honor goes much further than mere obedience - it deals with our heart. Honoring your parents means to respect them, to have a high regard for them, and to highly value them. This is the attitude God wants His people to have toward their parents.

Ephesians 6:1 tells christian children to obey their parents in the Lord. This means that as long as their parents aren’t telling them to disobey God’s Word, they should obey. Obedience to parents is required for as long as a child is under their authority. When a child grows up and leaves the home, the command to obey is no longer binding on them. But notice this, the command to honor has no age limit!

Even grown-ups are commanded by God to honor their father and mother. This attitude of respect and esteem should continue from childhood into adult years. Even after one’s parents have passed on, their memory should be honored and respected.

How important is this attitude of honor to God? Extremely! Even though it is the fifth commandment, it is the first to have a promise attached to it. The promise is this: “that it may go well with you and you may live long on the earth.” This is a concrete promise from God; if you honor your father and your mother, you will have a long, good life! Count on this: if things aren’t going so well for you - the first thing you should examine is your attitude and respect for your parents!

Now, this gets a little delicate in some situations. What if parents aren’t deserving of honor? What if a parent was abusive, neglectful, or hurtful? What should we do when we’re commanded to give something that isn’t deserved? All too often, adults are still struggling with what their parents did or didn’t do for them as a child. Even after the parents are dead and gone, those wounds can still fester. Surely God doesn’t expect honor in these situations, right?

Wrong. It is true that God’s command to obey our parents has a condition attached (“in the Lord”). But His command to honor our parents has no conditions on it. He told us to honor them, whether they deserve it or not. But when you think about it, this unconditional honor isn’t anything new. After all, God loved us when we didn’t deserve it - right? Doesn’t He command us to love each other - unconditionally? Even His command for us to forgive others has no strings attached to it. We’re just told to do it! So why would it be surprising for God to command honor towards parents, whether it’s deserved or not? You see, God is far more interested in our obedience from the heart than He is about whether someone deserves your honor (or love, or forgiveness).

So how do we honor a parent that doesn’t deserve it? You honor them by releasing the pain they’ve caused. You honor them by giving them the respect of a parent. You honor them by forgiving them of the wrongs they have done. You honor them by letting go of any hurt they may have caused. And you honor them by praying for them.

Of course it’s not easy. Not a single one of the ten commandments are easy. If we could do it on our own, then we wouldn’t have needed salvation! But, through the amazing, empowering grace of God we can receive the strength we need to obey this command from the heart.